Ink Blots, Soft Spots and Penny Drops.

Posted: February 6, 2014 in Uncategorized

It’s one of those things where I just don’t quite get it. Those ink blots that some psychiatrists used, so that what you see tells them something about your thinking state. Some of us might see a lion’s head. Some might see a swirling torrent of flowing water. Some of us might see a dark and mysterious reaper like the Wraiths in Lord of the Rings.

We see different things in the patterns that happen around us. Not necessarily right or wrong. And I am NOT sitting on the fence here.

Perception; interpretation; deduction.

We also have soft spots. Things which are either a pet like / adoration of ours – and no matter what others belittle, we believe in it and we feel it as “right”. Or indeed the soft spot is a weaker element of our make-up. Something we are not that great at doing or working up towards. Be it statistical analysis; turn of phrase or influencing tactic.

We then have penny drop moments. We get it. We may not have been first to get it but we get it. Eventually.

So when others see a different shape in the ink blot; have no tolerance for our soft spots and are earlier in the penny dropping is that REALLY something to get all arsey and hyper ventilate to others about?

Maturity of viewpoint; realisations over busted models of operating; outmoded thinking on certain elements – things happen to us in different waves, at different times and with different catalysts to change our approaches.

Instead of giving it “oh, we’ve been operating that model for so long we’re actually moving to an all new approach. That “X” model is so not the way forward”.

I see this in Social Business already. And it’s not really gotten started yet. It’s like fashionistas saying tgtt his years fashion collection is already out of date before it’s on the catwalk and thet know what 2016’s is all about. What a crock. In your own mind maybe.

Maybe you have a frustration that not everyone around is on the same page or even chapter of the book as you. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re being deliberately anti-fashion to be fashionable. Like the Intellectual Parents in Viz.

It’s all a bit smug when the kickback on the state of play is tinged with sarcasm (lowest form of wit); undeserved admonishment and a touch of “oh I’m so beyond all that”.

Here’s an example of what I am getting at. I used the Alfred Mehrabian quote on communication around 7% words; 38% tone and 55% body language as “how we receive communication”. So it’s not what you say but the way you say it. I understood this (as it was taught to me at the time and I had no reason to doubt it) for all communications.

I was then alerted by someone else via Twitter that actually this was what was behind the meaning of comms which resulted in a MISUNDERSTANDING.  So I had to unlearn and then relearn that. The debate around this still rages on.

So if I see someone who uses this in the wrong context I can put them right now and give them something else to explore.

Not tear a strip off them for seeing the ink blot as someone else had described it. Of having a soft spot for not checking their research with amazing scrutiny or label them lame and useless for the penny not having dropped.

All that would serve is embarrassment to the individual concerned and the overall feeling that I was a “know it all arse” if I battered the intellectual crap out of them for being so behind the curve.

FFS have some tolerance for others arriving a little later than you.

Have some humility and dignity in pointing out alternative views.

Be generous in people at least trying to get it right and help them move their thinking on.

Or call them out as missing the point and making them feel pretty rubbish.

“Oh Dan Pink is so 2009” or whatever.

Well, maybe. But if this is about others arriving a little later, they need YOUR HELP TO CATCH UP.

Not a verbal slap in the face. We live in a tolerant society not a fricking bootcamp. Life’s tough enough without chucking insulting put downs around.

Give people a break.

Give them something MORE inspiring instead of chewing their ear off.

Giving is proven to stimulate you and others.  Taking away just simply doesn’t.

Gnashing just wears down your teeth enamel and can damage any confidence to think differently that people are maybe just trying to build.

I still don’t get ink blots though.

  1. Cathy Wilson says:

    Indeed! It also might just be that you are wrong and they do have a point thus saving yourself the embarrassment when you realise it was you that was misguided all along. Learned that one a while ago and it doesn’t half make you think hard before discarding anothers view point…

  2. […] I’m also inspired by a blog from Perry Timms which, where the words choke in my mouth, he puts… […]

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